In June of 2016, Donald Trump Jr. met with a Russian lawyer and possibly a Russian spy to try and get dirt on Hillary Clinton.
While this seems obviously sketchy and possibly illegal, not everyone seems to know why this is wrong. Don Jr. and Donald Sr. seem to think this was standard practice and Sean Spicer is still coming down from whatever pain killers he took to make it through another day to answer honestly.
Since Don Jr. appears to have so much trouble discerning right from wrong, I thought I could look at his foibles through the lens of something he could understand. Something that he’s probably familiar with from still having bunk beds with Eric.
As we open this tale, we head to the plains of Africa where we find Scar and his whispy, thinning mane lounging around Scar Rock with his much younger lionesses while admiring his crumbling kingdom. The massive budget cuts he put in place have sparked a famine and his refusal to acknowledge climate change has brought extreme drought to the savannah.
As the Scar Administration continues to try and ban leopards and giraffes from entering their land, suspicion among the pride grows that Scar and the hyenas may have colluded to oust Mufasa and Simba.
It had longed seemed strange to the pride that from the day he arrived and blinking, stepped into the sun, Scar has praised the Shadowland and expressed admiration for the hyena’s strong leadership and defense of the elephant grave yard.
In addition, patterns have started to emerge between the movements of the hyenas and those of the wildebeest on the day of the stampede. Scar refuses to denounce any hyena other than Ed and appears unconcerned with their increased hunting of the lions prey.
As news leaks out that Mufasa actually fell while trying to escape the hyena induced stampede, Scar mocks him for having a “weak grip” and despite the fact that there is more to be seen than can ever be seen and more to do than can ever be done, he keeps regularly sending flocks of birds to remind everyone that Nala and Rafiki once ran into each other on a hunting trip and who knows what they may have been conspiring to do.
Not to mention, maybe if Simba hadn’t been strutting around singing about how he was going to be king, Mufasa may have done something about the hyena’s plot.
Eventually the elephant herd and Bob “The Trunk” Mueller start combing through the outtakes to see if any further scenes yet revealed to the audience exist. As they work they realize there’s far too much to take in here, more to find than can ever be found, but one day, with the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky, they find a deleted scene where Scar’s eldest son, Scar Jr. makes contact with the hyenas.
In the previously deleted scene he is lounging around Scar Oasis when noted hyena sympathizer Zazutskaya comes flying in with a message from the Shadowland. The hyenas want to meet. They know of a sure-fire way to make certain Simba doesn’t become king of Pride Rock and they want to run it by him before bringing it to Scar.
Oh, and if anyone asks, this meeting is to discuss “zebra access” due to the lion’s restrictions on the hyena’s hunting grounds.
Zazutskaya returns to the Shadowland to share Scar Jr.’s exuberance at the idea the hyenas could help stop Simba from becoming king and instead put Scar in power.
While the remaining scenes haven’t been found, the audience knows that the hyena’s ended up carrying out the plot that killed Mufasa, exiled Simba, and put Scar in charge.
Oh… and Scar knew about the entire thing all along.
Now, Don Jr., I realize that it still may be a little hard to understand how what Scar Jr. did was kind of wrong and lead to the ruin of his pride – and downfall of his father – but I’m sure Eric could explain it to you in terms you can understand.
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