7 Things That Will Make Philadelphia Stronger Together

7 things I think I think about convention this week:

  1. Hillary will change her hairstyle each day, daring reporters to write about about her appearance.
  2. Lincoln Chafee will issue a statement saying he is outraged that the DNC rigged the primary against him. Jim Webb will grumble something inaudible and pour himself another scotch.
  3. Tim Kaine will reveal that he also speaks Inuit, helping Hillary lock up the Eskimo vote.
  4. Michelle Obama will begin her speech by saying “Four score and… just kidding everyone.”
  5. Bernie delegates will insist that those with floor seats ought to buy dinner for those in the nosebleeds.
  6. Joe Biden will sneak into the crowd and start a “4 more years!” chant during Obama’s speech.
  7. Instead of balloons, a glass ceiling will shatter onto the crowd after Hillary wraps up her speech.


Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Photo Credit: DNC

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