What Happened? (to my blog)

When I started this blog in January of 2016, politics was still fun. The Democrats were in the process of anointing Kween Hillary and the Republican situation resembled the closing scene from Reservoir Dogs. I bought this domain, named it after my neighborhood, and used it as a creative outlet on Sunday afternoons to write whatever came to mind, whether it was amateur punditry or long form dad jokes

But then, it all came crashing down.

On election night, as I walked home from a viewing party at a polling firm (note: never watch election returns with pollsters again) I thought about this blog. What direction would I take it? Would I write my own Democratic Autopsy? Would I wallow in gallows humor and write faux Onion headlines every time Trump did something un-presidential? (Little did I know they’d write themselves).

In the end, I would do none of the above. Over the next 12 months I started and abandoned more posts than your cousin Anthony who is always telling you that this project is the one that will make him millions. I would stare at this cursed blinking cursor and think, “What is the point?”

See, during the election, even though everything that occurred was borderline insane, the general rules of politics still somewhat applied. I could write about what Bernie’s attacks meant for Hillary and it was possible I could be right. I could muse about the future of the Republican party or vent about their absent dissent and it was possible things could turn around.

Now though, with Trump in the Oval Office taking a metaphorical dump on every custom, rite, and moral obligation of the office, I find myself with a chronic case of terminal writer’s block.

Why even bother writing about the insanity of something as banal as the president having not held a solo press conference in over a year when it’s been less than two weeks since we found out his lawyer paid a porn star $130,000 weeks before the election to cover up an affair he had while his wife was with his newborn son and yet the story has disappeared like an untethered umbrella in a hurricane.

I mean holy jumping jacks. Obama’s tan suit garnered more outrage from couches at Fox News than that story did on all three networks combined!

Why even bother writing about how the rollout of the “infrastructure package” has become an inside-the-beltway running joke when during the same week Trump used a school shooting where 17 students were murdered in their classrooms to blast the FBI over their Russia investigation and then proceeded to not only only spend less than 15 minutes with victims at a hospital, but made a picture of himself smiling with them and giving a thumbs up his Twitter banner and no-one batted an eye.

Each of those first stories are something I would have whisked up 700 words in a heartbeat on were it about President Clinton or President (–insert generic Republican–). “What are the merits of shielding your boss from the press?” “Does a nationwide tour with landmark speeches in ‘real America’ really help sell a spending package to Congress?” Discuss.

But hush money to porn stars? Using dead school children as a political axe against the FBI? I need a drink,  not a keyboard.

The English language only has so many words. Unprecedented. Insane. Arrogant. Unqualified. Embarrassing. Disgusting. Shocking. Dangerous.

When those words are peppered throughout every op-ed, every editorial page, every Congressional tweet, even every non-biased news article, they lose their meaning.

How many more times can I open the Outlook Section of the Sunday Washington Post and suffer through another thousand words about how the previous week was the craziest week ever recorded?

I can barely muster a halfhearted “Yeah, crazy, huh?” to my co-workers in response to the daily push notifications revealing the latest episode of Veep  White House scandal, much less sit down and try and process what it means.

I sincerely hope this Trump thing is nothing more than a two century old nation having a teenage rebellion crisis. That maybe we’ll stop at dyeing our hair pink and wise up before going for the neck tattoo.

I know while reading this that a handful of you in The Resistance will be thinking that silence and acceptance will further normalize it all and that in fact continually calling it like it is will someday make a difference.  In a way, I agree with you. To ignore it all would be to cede that “politics” is lost and “Trumpism” is a new normal. But when porn star hush money can’t crack the news cycle, what can?

Trump is exhausting.

As The Intercept’s James Risen recently put it, the problem with Trump is that he is too transparent. He is so obviously in over his head. He is so obviously a scumbag, a blowhard, a closet-racist, and a lifetime con-artist, that when you take the time to make the case people look at you like, “Did you really need 2,000 words to tell me that water is wet?”

There is no nuance to him, no second layer of the onion.  There will never be any thought pieces about what in his life motivated his passion for criminal justice reform. No interviews with careful analysis on how to balance civil liberties with national security.  No speech he will ever give will leave anyone in tears. Nothing.

As an amateur writer and weekend blogger, I’m not getting paid for my thoughts. My motivation is purely driven by the events of the week and my passion for what I’m writing about. I don’t have a desk and a research team and ten hours a day of dedicated writing time. I don’t have a morning production meeting to formulate ideas and flesh out new angles.

I just have this laptop with an increasingly shorter battery life, a fantastic chair (shout out to West Elm), and whatever time on Sundays I think is better spent in that chair with that laptop than on a golf course.

How do you continue to play a game when a garbage truck just ran over your ball? How do you make yourself heard when every sentence feels like whispering into a jet engine? How do you make sense of three different 1,000 piece puzzles all titled “Blue Sky” handed to you in the same box?

If anyone has any sage advice, I’m all ears.

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

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Trump’s Secret Shutdown Desire

“MR. SPEAKER. THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES”  the House Sergeant at Arms bellows preceding thunderous applause from those gathered.  As he steps to the side, a stoic looking, freshly coifed Donald J. Trump saunters into the House Chamber, complete with a red silk tie longer than a CVS receipt. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen. My fellow Americans. Tonight, as I talk to you tonight in your home, after you’ve tucked in your children, paid your bills, put away the dishes and finally put your feet up, I am standing here in front of some of your elected representatives who have chosen to put their political futures ahead of keeping your government open. They have chosen to leave your family stranded at the gates to our national parks while they send emails to donors listing that as a feat on their resumes.”

Chuck Todd will have an aneurism. Jake Tapper’s brows will furrow so aggressively that CNN will put them on the next panel to debate Kayleigh McEnany. Wolf Blitzer will maintain his monotone.  Did a President just unabashedly blister his political opponents during a speech traditionally reserved for lofty rhetoric about visions for a shimmering future?

The first ever president to deliver a State of the Union while the government was shut down, a defiant Donald Trump would be empowered to deliver a campaign style speech in which no opponent could hit back, with all the majesty and pomp of the joint session of United States Congress in his midst.

This setup was made for Donald Trump. His best friends mortal enemies, Chuck and Nancy, just chose to fight for illegal immigrants instead of funding children’s insurance. (Or so he’ll tell you.)  He relishes both the spotlight and putting others down, and on this night, he’ll have the biggest audience to do both.

Since Bill Clinton watched Newt Gingrich stumble into the 1996 shutdown, Republicans have received the brunt of the criticism for each closure and common logic would hedge that this time, with control of the House, Senate, and White House, the Republicans would again be mocked for failing to keep their own government functional.

Standing in front of that podium Trump would have one hour of uninterrupted time – complete with his own live applause track – to hit back and spread the gospel of the dangerous immigrant while lamenting those poor, poor children who currently lack health insurance.

This would be a State of the Union unlike any other. While past presidents have masked critiques with mild overtures to “reach across the aisle” and “work together to find common sense solutions” Trump would attack with the virulence of Ann Coulter after watching puppy videos.

He would rattle off his greatest hits like a band on an undersold reunion tour.  The media hasn’t covered his success. The Democrats are so unfair to him. Everything is negative, they even shut down his government!

If there were ever a president to blaze a new trail and use a traditionally positive speech to riddle opponents, it would be Trump.  He has never in history (like, two years) resisted the opportunity to counter-hit those who attack him.  His Press Secretary, Sarah Sanders, has offered unprecedented blistering attacks on the media from behind the White House seal. So why would this night be any different?

In doing all of this, Trump would actually be committing political suicide.  He set the deadline for ending DACA. He failed to prioritize renewing CHIP months ago. This entire crisis is manufactured by the White House in a unified government. His party has governed from crisis to crisis while their only true compass appears to be whatever the opposite of Obama’s was.

The American people will see right through his charade and despite his bravado realize he is an empty suit who invented his own reality to incense his enemies and puff his ego.

But then again, where have I heard that before?

 

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

The Never-Ending Primary

I haven’t written anything in a while, so quick shout out to Donna Brazile for making words flow my keyboard and steam stream from my ears.

Early today I was at my desk having a perfectly fine Thursday during Infrastructure Week, err, excuse me, Tax Reform Day, and I start seeing all this chatter about Donna Brazile “smashing” and “taking down” Hillary Clinton.

What in good name of Joe Biden just happened.

Well, here is what happened. For some unknown – actually we do know – reason, Donna Brazile, a lifelong Democrat and former interim DNC chair decided that today would be an excellent day to publish a portion of her book on Politico about how the DNC and the Clinton campaign shared finances well before Hillary became the nominee.

She wrote about how the whole system was rigged and it wasn’t fair to poor Bernie “Not a Democrat” Sanders and how she cried when telling Bernie Sanders that the DNC and Hillary for America shared finances.

Give me a f*cking break.  Donna Brazile cried because Hillary had an unfair advantage during the primary? Is this same Donna Brazile who gave Hillary’s campaign debate questions ahead of debates against Bernie Sanders during the primary?

As the kids would say, I’m woke to your bullshit, Donna.

So how did this turn out? Wonderfully, as you can surely imagine.

Instead of talking about how the Republican’s are attempting to add $1.5 trillion to the national deficit, or how not one, not two, but three of Trump’s campaign advisors are facing federal charges, or how Jeff Sessions appears to have lied in front of Congress again, or ho… oh you get the point.

Instead of doing any of those things, we instead are talking about Elizabeth Warren going on Jake Tapper and flatly saying that the Democratic primary was rigged. We have Trump tweeting about money laundering (yes, he’s an idiot and that’s wrong, but what whatever) and Democratic collusion.  We have an event that ended nearly a year and half ago as the top story in the news.

Meanwhile, this welcome distraction will help Republican’s whip votes for a bill that asks college students to fork over nearly $50 billion in lost tax credits while corporations get a $1.4 trillion break.

All because Donna Brazile decided today was a good day to make up for hurting Bernie’s feelings nearly two year ago.

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Picture credit: ABC News

Single Payer, Multiple Problems.

Gillibrand. Booker. Harris. Warren. Sanders. What do those names have in common?

Well, two things actually.  First, they are all of the Democratic senators with presidential aspirations. Second, they are all cosponsors of a recently proposed bill to create Medicare for all single-payer healthcare.

That list alone should tell you about the realistic possibilities of this proposal. If there were a bill on the other side of the aisle on a Republican pet issue sponsored by Cruz, Rubio, Paul, Graham, and Cotton, do you think Democrats would be willing to work with them to pass it?

The Sander’s bill operates under the assumption that healthcare is a right not a privilege, which is the absolute correct opinion – in my opinion.  Because this bill views it as a right, it eliminates the for profit insurance industry in favor of a government system that sets premiums based on health care costs, not health care costs, + overhead + profit + risk + shareholder concerns.  People wouldn’t have to worry about doctors being in network or preexisting conditions or anything. You get sick, you get taken care of.

Sounds wonderful, right?  But the bill has no chance of passing, so why is Sanders forcing the issue right now?

The Democrats just fought a seven year battle over the Affordable Care Act. When it passed in 2010, it was the biggest shake-up of the American healthcare system since the 1960’s and the politics of it cost Democrats the House in the following election.  They then spent the next six years listening to Republicans promise to repeal and replace it if they were to gain power.

Then Republicans caught the car.

With both houses of Congress and the White House under the Republican flag, push came to shove and the Republicans choked.  After promising their ideal version of healthcare to the American people for the better part of a decade, the Republicans couldn’t agree as a caucus on the path forward and had to throw in the towel and let the ACA stand.

While it is too early to judge if this will cost them House seats – remember, nothing matters anymore – it is hugely embarrassing and an enormous hit to their credibility.

So why then, in the minority, are the Democrats setting foot down the same path?  They just narrowly defended the ACA and by proposing a new bill are not only moving the goal posts, but conceding that the ACA isn’t the healthcare system they’d prefer.

I know that some out there – hi @PodSaveAmerica – would argue that even if the bill doesn’t pass that providing healthcare for all should be the Democratic position and this bill should be the conversation starter moving forward.

No, wrong, false, dumb.

By introducing this bill in this political climate, it is automatically polarized to the extreme. Not only is the idea toxic to Republicans, but Sanders is forcing Democratic senators to publicly comment and stake out a position on something that is divisive and  unrealistic.

In an effort to take back the Senate – and maybe the House? – why are you forcing Joe Manchin and Heidi Heitkamp to talk about single payer when their constituencies barely even tolerate their support of the ACA?

I don’t think that the two caucuses need to operate as cohesive blocs at all times or that every vote needs to be a party line decision, but in today’s nationalized political environment elected officials live and die as a team much more than they used to.

If he were a true team player, Sanders would have never introduced this into the conversation under these circumstances.  Then again, he’s only ever paid attention to a constituency of one.

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Picture credit: Getty Images

Don Jr. and the Hyenas

In June of 2016, Donald Trump Jr. met with a Russian lawyer and possibly a Russian spy to try and get dirt on Hillary Clinton.  

While this seems obviously sketchy and possibly illegal, not everyone seems to know why this is wrong.  Don Jr. and Donald Sr. seem to think this was standard practice and Sean Spicer is still coming down from whatever pain killers he took to make it through another day to answer honestly.

Since Don Jr. appears to have so much trouble discerning right from wrong, I thought I could look at his foibles through the lens of something he could understand. Something that he’s probably familiar with from still having bunk beds with Eric.

Disney movies.

As we open this tale, we head to the plains of Africa where we find Scar and his whispy, thinning mane lounging around Scar Rock with his much younger lionesses while admiring his crumbling kingdom. The massive budget cuts he put in place have sparked a famine and his refusal to acknowledge climate change has brought extreme drought to the savannah.

As the Scar Administration continues to try and ban leopards and giraffes from entering their land, suspicion among the pride grows that Scar and the hyenas may have colluded to oust Mufasa and Simba.

It had longed seemed strange to the pride that from the day he arrived and blinking, stepped into the sun, Scar has praised the Shadowland and expressed admiration for the hyena’s strong leadership and defense of the elephant grave yard.

In addition, patterns have started to emerge between the movements of the hyenas and those of the wildebeest on the day of the stampede. Scar refuses to denounce any hyena other than Ed and appears unconcerned with their increased hunting of the lions prey.

As news leaks out that Mufasa actually fell while trying to escape the hyena induced stampede, Scar mocks him for having a “weak grip” and despite the fact that there is more to be seen than can ever be seen and more to do than can ever be done, he keeps regularly sending flocks of birds to remind everyone that Nala and Rafiki once ran into each other on a hunting trip and who knows what they may have been conspiring to do.

Not to mention, maybe if Simba hadn’t been strutting around singing about how he was going to be king, Mufasa may have done something about the hyena’s plot.

Eventually the elephant herd and Bob “The Trunk” Mueller start combing through the outtakes to see if any further scenes yet revealed to the audience exist. As they work they realize there’s far too much to take in here, more to find than can ever be found, but one day, with the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky, they find a deleted scene where Scar’s eldest son, Scar Jr. makes contact with the hyenas.

In the previously deleted scene he is lounging around Scar Oasis when noted hyena sympathizer Zazutskaya comes flying in with a message from the Shadowland.  The hyenas want to meet. They know of a sure-fire way to make certain Simba doesn’t become king of Pride Rock and they want to run it by him before bringing it to Scar.

Oh, and if anyone asks, this meeting is to discuss “zebra access” due to the lion’s restrictions on the hyena’s hunting grounds.

Zazutskaya returns to the Shadowland to share Scar Jr.’s exuberance at the idea the hyenas could help stop Simba from becoming king and instead put Scar in power.

While the remaining scenes haven’t been found, the audience knows that the hyena’s ended up carrying out the plot that killed Mufasa, exiled Simba, and put Scar in charge.

Oh… and Scar knew about the entire thing all along.

Now, Don Jr., I realize that it still may be a little hard to understand how what Scar Jr. did was kind of wrong and lead to the ruin of his pride – and downfall of his father – but I’m sure Eric could explain it to you in terms you can understand.

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Picture credit: Disney

The American Legion of Liars

Donald Trump got what he wanted. Thanks to a media that covers politics with the same objective analysis as the sports section during a playoff run, everyone across the country heard the narrative that the most important thing that happened in Washington this week was that the Republicans “got a win.”

No, that mass of mental midgets did not get a “win.”  What they did was display horrifying neglect of duty in rushing to pass a bill that would do irreparable harm to millions and millions of people across the country.

What the stampede of simpletons in the lower chamber did this week flies in the face of everything I have ever believed about what elected leaders are supposed to do. Beyond just the merits of the legislation, the callousness and recklessness with which they rushed through legislation would up-end 1/6 of our economy was outrageous, egregious and preposterous.

And the best – I shouldn’t say “best” because there is nothing good here – part is that the people who will be hurt worst by this abomination are the very people who elected this cohort of clowns. The bill allows states to seek waivers to no longer protect those with pre-existing conditions. You know who won’t seek those waivers? Democratic governors who don’t want to see their people suffer. You know who will? Republican governors like Scott Walker who already said he’d probably use it (Hey Paul Ryan, guess what state that is).

Call me a smug liberal if you want, but I’m smart enough not to vote for someone who campaigns on taking away a benefit that I rely on.

As the horde of hee-haws were pushing yay at their desks, staff were carting palates of Bud Light covered in black tarps through the Capitol. But they couldn’t even do that right as the genius they tasked with this mission left one corner uncovered for all the world to spy the signature blue and white box of “Up for Whatever.” Symbolism.

Though let’s be fair. The beer, I’m sure, was to celebrate granting insurance to millions for the first time. Or maybe it was that those born with ailments could finally get coverage. Or maybe it was their provision to ban life-time limits and out of pocket expenses for people that suffer catastrophic injuries. Or maybe it was confirming their belief that the character of this country is defined by the fact that no one should go bankrupt because of an illness or injury.

Oh shit, sorry, those are all the things in the Affordable Care Act they’re trying to end. Silly me.

As Dan Pfeiffer said on “Pod Save America” his week, if Republicans came out and made a case that they want to return the healthcare industry to the free market and that government has no place directing a private marketplace, then at least they would be making an intellectually honest argument about why they’re doing this.

Instead, this legion of liars are blanketing the talk shows spreading some of the most bald faced “alternative facts” I’ve ever witnessed in politics.

Kevin McCarthy talked of expanding coverage despite a CBO score on a similar bill that says 24 million fewer people would have coverage. Paul Ryan’s communications director said this bill had been scored twice, despite the fact that the previous two scores were for entirely different bills.  This is like saying your car is doesn’t need the state inspection because you had the emissions tested 2 years ago.

And finally, Cathy McMorris-Rodgers wrote an op-ed about how her son’s pre-existing condition led her to vote for this bill. But given that this bill weakens protections for people like him, there must be something she knows that we don’t.

Oh, that’s right, Republicans made sure the law didn’t apply to Members of Congress, their families, or staff.

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Picture credit: Twitter

The Showdown at Amateur Alley

There is a book that Donald Trump has not read. Yes, I know that could be literally any book, but the one I have in mind is called The Showdown at Gucci Gulch.  It is the riveting story of how the last major tax reform was passed in 1986.

The 30 second summary is this: House Ways and Means Chairman Dan Rostenkowski, Senators Bill Bradley and Bob Packwood, White House Chief of Staff / Treasury Secretary James Baker worked together for years hammering out every detail of every aspect of tax reform. They debated how and if to keep it revenue neutral, how to simplify it, and how to spread the benefits.

By contrast, the Trump Administration talks about overhauling major aspects of the American economy like they are launching a menu item at McDonalds. “Healthcare reform will happen his week.” “Tax reform will be released on Wednesday.”

That is not how this works. That is not how any of this works.

I almost forgive Trump for this naiveté.  He is new to governing, has surrounded himself with no one of any expertise, and is generally not very bright. But Paul Ryan on the other hand – who used to hold the same title as Rep. Rostenkowski – should know better.

Well, he should know better, but as we saw with how he handled Health Care Crash and Burn Episode 1, he is a pretty shitty Speaker.

He not only crafted a bill that couldn’t crack 20% approval, but secured no outside support, made no efforts to secure votes, and gave the world’s worst PowerPoint infomercial on national television.  He had 7 years (that is over 2500 days for those of you keeping track) to craft a replacement to that evil, sinister, job killing Obamacare and instead he basically put the letters “H.R.” in front of a turd and gave it to the House clerk.

Then as if he didn’t learn his lesson, he was back at it this week saying that the GOP has spent a whole four weeks writing an even worse version of their original dumpster fire. Once again, every major national health organization is opposed, no senators have been briefed, and the president is unable to articulate any provisions beyond “it’s very good and very well liked.”

While all of this is going on, Ryan somehow thought it was also a good idea to allow the White House to release an outline of a major tax reform proposal that differs in key ways from the plan Ryan has been salivating over for his entire life. Not to mention how it will make Republicans want to hide those debt clocks they were so fond of under Obama.

Despite being billed as the most powerful city on earth, Washington actually has very little bandwidth for more than one major undertaking at any given time.  Major legislation takes up a ton of energy. The research, the hearings, the lobbying efforts, the scoring and analysis. It is a dance that has all the kinetic energy of an anthill and the organized chaos of a kayak race in a hurricane.

When the Republicans secured both houses of Congress and the White House, most Democrats began digging graves for all their priorities. The rich were about to get tax cuts, the ACA was on its way to the gallows, and social progress was shifting out of drive.  Thankfully, Republicans have chose to govern like a puppy in a dog park that doesn’t know which tennis ball to chase.  So for now, it looks like most liberal accomplishments are safer than we thought.

Back in 1986, Republicans were able to secure major victories like lower top rates in the final tax package despite Democratic control of the House.  They did this through painstaking negotiating, intense cooperation between the Treasury and Congressional leaders, and careful consideration of major stakeholders concerns.

What they didn’t do was announce that it would happen “on Wednesday.”

 

Follow on Twitter @EighteenthandU

Picture credit: Associated Press